Film Reviews (written)

Zoolander 2 – Box Office Review

Here’s the thing, sometimes you decide that fast food is ok for dinner. The final meal of the day doesn’t always have to be gourmet, home made or delivery. The same philosophy can be applied to the movie-going experience. “Zoolander 2” was the Taco Bell or Del Taco version of quality when it comes to a cinematic experience. I walked out of the theater feeling satisfied to the point my expectations were met and additionally regretful that my hard earned dollars were spent on such poor quality entertainment.

If you enjoyed the first one, which I still do, then there’s plenty of familiar comedy that will have you chuckling out loud. There’s also the plethora of celebrity cameo’s that were peppered throughout the film. My favorite cameo was probably the Susan Boyle appearance. That was so unexpected and timed so well I did laugh out loud. Outside of that the movie wasn’t paced well, the edits were choppy and the dialogue felt like something from a teen fiction novel. I really can’t recommend this film to people but if you loved the initial offering you’ll appreciate moments in the sequel.

There was one silver lining to this oddly made film. Will Ferrell. Now, I know that sounds obvious but stay with me. His character was twisted and mentally deranged. This wasn’t comedic. His character was actually a demented psychopath who has been plotting his revenge the entire time between films. The story for his character was also something of a brilliant criminal mastermind who is comfortable killing people and asserting his dominance to get what he wants, both mental and physical. His performance, storyline and acting actually captured my attention. Everything about his character elevated my enjoyment of the film. As soon as he arrives on screen the entire film felt like one ended and a new one began. Similar to how Josh Trank’s Fantastic Four felt like two films, so did this.

“Zoolander 2” is in theaters now! I refuse to give this film any acknowledgement beyond my review. It’s really not that good. It’s borderline offensive to people who are overweight. The majority of the jokes don’t land well. Its timing suffers. Its dialogue is cheap and to think it took over a decade to make and this was the best they could do was disappointing. At the very least, Penelope Cruz looked smoking hot in a black bathing suit towards the end of the film. Unfortunately, you had to endure the entire film for that moment. See it in theaters if you want, but I’d recommend you wait for it to be on basic cable at 2 in the morning when you’re so out of your mind you won’t even notice how bad this movie is. And now Penelope Cruz, because Penelope Cruz.


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