Film Reviews (written)

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales – #review

This series of films have been getting steadily worse. Since 2003 we have been following the adventures of Captain Jack Sparrow despite how ridiculous and abysmal the stories became. Now, we have the fifth, and possibly last, film in the franchise. Does this reignite the excitement from the first film or do we send it down to Davey Jones locker with the other films in this franchise? Let’s dive in and take a look at “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” in this box office review…


The magic of this franchise is officially gone. There’s a level of charm that still exists but the magic is no more. As a fan of the characters I was let down. The movie begins with the most ridiculous bank robbery and only continues to thread pieces of a story together that never really work. It felt like there was so much more written for this film than what was put on screen. Or there was an idea for more that they couldn’t figure out how to convey so they didn’t. And as such, we are left with a story that was as pieced together as some of the dead shipmates hunting pirates.


This film didn’t really venture into uncharted waters either. It followed similar plot points from the previous movies. For example, the East India Trading Company was trying to control the sea by owning the heart of Davey Jones in “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead’s Man Chest.” We have this same story but with the English government. However, this whole subplot is pointless. Its characters and story should have been left out. When Captain Jack escapes the guillotine on the island, that’s where those characters should’ve been left. Also, the cameo by Paul McCartney was so oddly placed it didn’t even make sense. It was one more thing that could’ve been left out and we would’ve been all the better.


The entire movie isn’t even really about Captain Jack Sparrow. Up to this point, the franchise is about his misadventures and the folks who are, for one reason or another, forced to go along with him. The writers decided to tie up all the loose ends and give us a finale for the main characters. Elizabeth Swan and Will Turner finally get to be together. Their son, as an adult, finds true love and unites his family. Captain Barbosa finally gets to die with honor and prove he’s more than just a pirate, which has always been his struggle. Captain Jack finally gets the Black Pearl and to be Captain. The entire movie is a resolution for the previous 4 films. The stories are so paint by numbers it felt lazy. Barbosa had the one inspired story but that was not enough to save this film.


Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” is in theaters now! Skip this movie on the big screen. As the title suggests, there’s no tale to be told in this movie. If you’re a fan of the franchise, like me, you’ll most likely be disappointed by how little care was put into this movie. It’s not the worst of the franchise but it certainly isn’t as good as the first two films. There’s plenty of other good films in theaters right now that I’ve reviewed. Go back and read those reviews and then decide which one you’ll see instead of this.


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